Posted by Corey on
November 30, 2009
I expect to get some heat for this post; however, this issue has been eating me up lately. The topic: Facebook and “Friends.”
Before I begin, let me say that I think these types of social networking sites are some of the greatest assets on the Web - at least for what they were designed to do. They are a great way to get/stay in touch with an old friend, classmate, colleague, or relative. They provide an excellent way to gather interest in a cause or let people know about an upcoming event. They are not, however, a substitute for the interpersonal communications required by authentic relationships. Unfortunately, we tend to treat Facebook as a way to conduct our friendships.
More specifically, I have been having a problem with the way that we accept people as friends or ask to be someone’s friend. For instance, when someone asks you to be a “friend” on Facebook - and you agree - I think it’s appropriate to confirm him or her AND THEN ADD a nice, quick message. This is a great time to actually see how someone is doing or what she has been up to. To me, it’s lame to just accept that person and move on with your life as if the request never happened. If we say nothing, it’s as if we are just accumulating friends for no particularly worthy purpose. This is likely why the people who sneaked into the White House last week have thousands of new Facebook friends. Is allegedly committing a federal offense really something worthy of beginning a new friendship?
To me a real friend is someone who rushes in to be with you when everyone else rushes out of your life. A friend is someone who is there when no one wants anything to do with you. Perhaps Facebook chose the wrong word to capture what is really happening on its site. Perhaps acquaintance would be more appropriate. Perhaps we should be able to confirm someone into one of two categories: (1) Real Friend / (2) Mere Acquaintance. For Real Friends, the website would force us to write a message. You know, it works for Twitter. It would be a little nudge towards actually building a friendship. For Mere Acquaintances, we could just confirm them as we confirm people today - as if it mattered as much as flushing the toilet.
Do me, your friends and yourself a favor and send a quick reply whenever you accept or make a friend request. This might mean more to the person on the other side of the monitor than you will ever know.
