A few weekends ago, I pulled into the jam-packed, do-it-yourself, local carwash and waited somewhat impatiently for the car ahead of me to pull out (as an aside, I am working on the virtue of patience). At the same time, my counterpart in the leftmost lane awaited an opening in his stall. He had arrived before I had and was towing two dirty motorcycles behind his truck.
What happened next is a bit hard to believe – but stick with me. His stall opened up first and he pulled one bike inside while another family member left the truck and began the wash. A few minutes later, my stall opened up and my neighbor quickly produced and placed a large plastic box in front of my car to block my path. He then pulled the other bike into my stall and began the wash. In disbelief, I rolled down my window and asked if he was seriously making this move.
His reply, “Yeah . . . What are you going to do about it?”
I glanced over towards his truck and saw that his mother had gotten out and witnessed the entire incident. This seemed like a good thing at the time and I was sure that she would correct this injustice and – at the same time – let her kid know that this was unacceptable behavior. I mean, if you’re willing to stiff someone at the carwash in front of your own mother then you have serious problems.
I looked towards the mother and said, “Did you see what just happened?”
To this she responded, “YOU SHUT UP. YOU JUST SHUT UP!”
More pleasantries came out as my window went up. Quickly, my exasperation transferred from this kid directly to his mother. It became obvious to me that this young person was merely emulating the typical behavior of his parent. Heck, the “large-plastic box-in-the-adjoining-lane” carwash trick might even have been her idea! At the end of the day, although waiting an extra five minutes in the carwash was a small price to pay to relate this story to my audiences, I still find myself in awe that an adult/parent reacted this way.
The moral of this story: there are many people in our lives who look up to us and emulate our actions, reactions, decisions, priorities, perspectives and moral compass. We have stakeholders – people who are interested in us regardless of whether we know it or not and regardless of our consent. It is so important that we take the time to evaluate how we respond to situations – even those that occur at the carwash – so that we can react appropriately and with character when the next one arrives. Remember, your life is about more than just you! You never know who might be watching and who might make your modus operandi his/her own.
My advice about living an authentic life always begins with this remarkable fable:
Imagine a racing greyhound named Cash. One warm summer evening, Cash sits outside on the front porch and discusses the future with his owner. The duo is world-famous and financially stable from the payouts of many big races.
Between memories, Cash drops a bombshell and says, “I have made a decision. I have decided that I cannot race anymore. My career is finished!”
His startled owner queries, “I must not have heard you correctly Cash, are you too old to race?”
“No,” Cash replies, “I still have some race left in me.”
“Well, do I mistreat you?” asks the owner.
“No, no, you’ve always treated me wonderfully,” answers Cash.
“Then why?” wonders the owner - still in shock - “Why would you give up on our chance to be rich and famous . . .”
Cash cuts her off in mid sentence and makes a simple, yet profound statement: “After running and running and running all of these years, I finally realized that the rabbits I’ve been chasing all my life are fake and I don’t want to race anymore.
We all chase fake rabbits in one form or another. We desire popularity and respect from our peers and we strive to posses the same amenities as our neighbors. We tell white lies to avoid telling hard truths and fake it to appear more intelligent, more attractive and more accomplished than we really are. Worst of all, we readily blame others and avoid taking responsibility for our mistakes in order to save face. We are all human and conditioned from childhood to chase worldly success in the form of excessive wealth, popularity and recognition.
Unfortunately, these “successes” rarely create the true and sustainable happiness we have always desired and we sometimes wonder where we steered off course. The great thing about life, however, is that the road to lasting, authentic success contains many on-ramps. Although we have chased fake rabbits in the past, we can move towards authentic success in a split second. The only thing missing is the motivation.
So, let me ask you one of the most important questions of your life: Do you chase real rabbits? If not, what do you chase and why?
Welcome to EthicsPost.com. It’s time to learn how to chase the type of success that really matters in life - “authentic success.”
This blog is a serious and encouraging place to analyze, debate, discuss and evaluate the many aspects of a concept I call authentic success. This type of success is comprised of the attributes that truly make human beings happy - i.e., a sense of contentment, solid personal relationships and a strong character. These stand in stark contrast to the worldly successes that members of contemporary society: (1) are bombarded with on a daily basis and (2) continually strive to obtain.
In fact, we are inundated by messages, advertisements and others encouraging us to seek excessive wealth and possessions (see MTV Cribs), popularity (see any high school or college student’s list of Facebook “friends”) and fame (see American Idol).
The problem is that worldly success rarely makes us happy. We gain high-paying jobs and, eventually, bigger houses and faster cars. We network well and become known among our peers and bosses. In the end, we “succeed” - but we eventually find that this success does little to help us wake up content in the morning.
Therefore, instead of salivating after worldly success, I encourage you to chase after authentic success and see what happens. More on this journey to come.
EthicsPost is a place to discuss "authentic success" - i.e., solid character, a sense of contentment and strong personal relationships. This blog uses current events, compelling stories and any other relevant information to encourage readers to chase after the truly important things in life.
Ethics Post was created by Corey Ciocchetti - a professisonal speaker on character, ethics and success and a professor of business law and ethics at the University of Denver.
